You're smart and capable — you just don't understand why you keep experiencing the same things that don't work, getting the same outcomes you don't want, repeating the same patterns that hold you back, before you even realize it's happening.

This is self-awareness work. Learning to notice when the old pattern shows up, learning to pause and create the space you need to choose a different response. You learn to interrupt an old pattern. and create a new outcome. Awareness is the key to getting free from any loop you are stuck in.

I've spent 35 years as a licensed psychotherapist and, later, as a life coach, working with countless people who have their own version of the same question: Why am I stuck?

The answer is almost always the same. There's a version of you running the show that you didn't consciously build. It got assembled over time — by your early environments, your family culture, the wider culture, your personal life experiences, and your unique coping mechanisms. I think of this as the small, unconscious Self that grew over time. And there are infinite aspects to that Self. When you're operating from it, you keep getting the same results, no matter how hard you try to change.

That's the first thing we do — get to know those aspects of your unique ‘Self.‘ Those you didn't choose for yourself, and those you keep getting nudges from. We need to know where we are to get where we want to be. A Self who is aware and present can do that; be at choice much more often and consistently move in the direction of intention.