I was Skeptical about Channeling Until it Happened to Me
This letter just came through after watching a Satyen Raja guided video
It was a free Sunday all to myself. I was home working on little projects, getting better organized and cleaning up my environment. A perfect time for an audiobook, You Tube or a podcast going in the background ‘feeding’ and inspiring me.
That day it was You Tube.
I happened on some videos of Satyen Raja, founder of Warrior Sage. Unfamiliar with him at the time, I didn’t realize he and his beautiful wife Suzanne are all about powerful, passionate, spiritual, transformative relationship. This would prove divine for ‘unsuspecting me’ later that evening.
I was focusing on his philosophy of leadership, specifically his work with people to become the kind of leaders that can create remarkable teams.
You have to empower and align your mind, heart and gut so that you’re deciding, relating and thinking with uncommon clarity, creativity, flow and passion. We call this experience the alchemy of wisdom, love and courage. Satyen Raja
Loved that. I resonated immediately with everything I heard. I decided to stop what I was doing and follow along with one particular video; Satyen facilitating a guided self inquiry process designed to mine for purpose.
Taking time for a little self inquiry
For about a half hour I followed his directions and asked myself the ever deepening questions he offered. With each question there really was greater understanding and clarity about what was driving me.
A peeling of the onion process. I have plenty pf layers to go, however I was shifted by what I found and was happy I took the time. And that was the end of it.
But that evening while tying up my day, there was the impulse to sit down and write. So I did, and this letter came pouring out:
We know you are feeling something is happening deep inside you. We know why it has taken so long, and we know you will know this soon, as well. We are rejoicing for you. We’ve decided to give you a little push tonight. Because we love you and we think it’s time we help you get out of your own way.
You now know the truth now about why you felt the way you did as a little girl. Not belonging, not cherished, and not good enough. Are you ready to do something about it?
Actually, you have known for a year and a half. We noticed you accepted it like a champ at the time. Blown away of course, that your mom could keep that big of a secret all your life. You can be so stubborn… you actually didn’t believe her at first, do you remember? But then you were relieved about the news because suddenly it all made sense, why you felt different from your own family. Indeed, you were. You have different traits that your real father had that others in your family do not.
We notice over the last year and a half however, you haven’t spent a lot of time contemplating this huge revelation. That’s surprising because you also have an idea it is the key to why you still have not found, created, allowed the love relationship with a wonderful man that you know is waiting for you. We know you don’t believe in feeding drama. You have worked hard to be free from the silliness of your past thinking. Great job, by the way. But we want you to know there is somewhere you need to go with this. It is really for you, this whole surprising experience.
We acknowledge you did try. When you found out the summer before last that the man you grew up with for the first few years of your life was not your real father, you of course immediately got on Google to see if you could find him. Within hours you did.
Your heart sank when you saw the words ‘death certificate’ and discovered he had passed away 5 years before. We felt for you. The thought crossed your mind ‘why couldn’t my mom have told me this sooner?’ We witnessed when you noticed the feeling of anger and blame inside your body ready and willing to jump in and take over. And we noticed you didn’t choose it. Even though you felt, as you said to yourself ‘a bit devasted’.
How can something only be ‘a bit devastating’ we wanted to ask you?
You kept looking for more information. Then you found and reached out to his niece, Lisa. That was a scary thing for you to do, so good on you. She and your dad Eddie, were close. We know you are thrilled to know her, and you see her as more like the sister you never had. She was incredible when you contacted her. Welcoming you with open arms, inviting you into her home and family, going through your father’s things that she has kept, giving you pictures of him and telling you stories about him. She told you she even sees him in you. You will always love her for that, we know.
We also noticed you haven’t been staying connected with her. We get it. It’s going to be painful when you let yourself grieve the loss of your dad Eddie, and that father-daughter bond you never had. You don’t need to beat yourself up over your lack of connection. Lisa understands.
And so do we. You haven’t wanted to go down that road of ‘what might have been’. All the love and connection you missed with him. You haven’t been ready for that. You have an idea something might break loose inside you and you don’t know where that will lead. That’s something like the ‘Capricorn’ in you that thinks you can stay in control. You can’t, you can only delay it. If you want to keep growing more fully into the woman you really can be, and we know you do, it’s time to face it head on, walk through it and receive.
When you learned you had a father you never knew, you understood what was missing with the man that raised you for the first 5 years of your life. Love. That father-daughter bond that you never got to have. You had the thought that should have been a formative relationship for a little girl to have, and you didn’t have it. We saw it when you understood you had repressed that.
And that little girl mind of yours compounded the problem. You never knew why the father that raised you didn’t seem to embrace you and like most children would, you believed there was something wrong with you. And you never released yourself from that.
There were many years you didn’t see him after he left when you were five. A separation that had nothing to do with you or your brothers that only reinforced your loss. So it made sense you chose not to have a relationship with him as an adult. There didn’t seem to be a point.
And now that he died last week, we see that something has shifted. And you think that is somehow odd. We think you’re adorable when you think like that. That’s OK, just go with it. Its time. You aren’t meant to understand the timing of things, but you’ll have an idea in hindsight. Be brave. Feel it all deeply. Let it run its course. Give yourself as much time as you need to release this lifetime of stuffed and stuck emotion. Your connection to your dad is on the other side of that work. So is your connection to the woman that is ready to be in relationship with the love of her life.
What just happened?
The experience was cathartic. Feeling a bit stunned I thought ‘where did that come from and who is WE?’
Yet the rest of that evening there was a strong feeling of being understood and even held. My body felt light after the release of very deep tears. There was also a sense of being connected to that little girl, in the present. I was her. And of course she had those thoughts and felt those feelings that I recall. I felt such appreciation and compassion that this was simply what had happened on our path.
I’m calling this channeling.
I’m not needing to call this communication with angelic beings, spirits, or a specific type of non-physical entity. Although the ‘we’ thing is interesting.
There are infinite ways to try and articulate the event, none that would be quite it, but I’ll give it a shot; my personal consciousness was open and connected to the energy and intelligence that is always right here, the collective consciousness, the ‘quantum field’, the absolute . The self inquiry process got my physical being in an open enough place where a ‘channel’ could happen. Then this benevolent support and acknowledgment came through in a way that I could recieve it, and voila. I see deeper into the life experience that formed my personality. I understand myself better. I’m freer.
It’s been about a year since this letter came.
And in that time that ‘help’ has indeed shown up in different forms to continue peeling back the layers. My attention would be drawn to books and videos, people’s personal stories, writing and remembering, even plant medicine. And on a regular basis, the powerful personal inner work I witness my clients do.
What also came out of it is a stronger commitment to walking my own talk. I am forever preaching to clients and anyone else who will listen about the practice of opening and keeping open that portal to our deeper self by journaling first thing in the morning and reflecting on the day in the evening; not only for the buried stuff that needs resolving, but the wisdom and clues available and waiting to be received. And what is waiting to be created.
The allowing of this kind of experience is transformative. While I haven’t had this obvious of a channeling event again, I know I can and that much more is possible if I only continue to cultivate it.